Mullahahahahahaha....

Taliban Opium Boom Linked to Growing Belief in Koran

by Scott Ott

(2007-08-27) — Regions of Afghanistan still controlled by the Taliban last year produced 93 percent of the world’s opium, according to a new United Nations report, which links the illicit drug boom to the growing popularity of the Koran.

An unnamed U.N. source said, “It’s hard to tell whether people are inspired to plant poppies after reading the Koran, or whether contact with all that opium draws them naturally to the wisdom of the Koran. Either way, the money goes to fund Islamic jihad.”

However, a Taliban source said that according to the Muslim holy book, “it is permissible to sell illicit drugs to buy illegal weapons to slaughter infidel civilians.”

“The combination of illicit, illegal and infidel is a triple negative,” said Taliban spokesman Mullah Mullaha Mullahaha, “Three negatives make a moral positive, and therefore it is condoned by the Prophet, may he hallucinate forever.”

Via Scrappleface

Vegans are funny, too!

Vegan stud--must be the turkey neck that sealed the deal for Mrs. Kucinich.

According to Dennis Kucinich, if you steer clear from consuming animal products, you can get yourself a hot, young spouse, too.

"Kucinich said he was “singularly positioned” to lead on health care issues as president because he has forsaken animal-based food products in his diet.

“This is why I happen to be a vegan. People want a president who’s healthy, because if you’re healthy, you can think right,” Kucinich said. “I’m 60 years old, my wife’s 29. Draw your own conclusions."

Riiiight. Your glorious, vegan body is what snagged you a wife half your age. It had absolutely nothing to do with your financial and political standing. I'm sure you have a great body for a senior citizen, Dennis, but it wasn't your love of broccoli that attracted your wife to you nor does it make you an expert on health care reform. Maybe you should take a couple more supplements because a lack of certain nutrients is apparently causing brain atrophy.

From So. Cal. to So. Car. and back again

Eric and Michelle-newlyweds!

Toni (fellow bridesmaid), Michelle, and me. I'm trying to pretend I'm not an amazon.

My second wedding of the year took place in Georgetown, South Carolina on Aug 11th. I was a bridesmaid in my friends Michelle and Eric's nuptials. It was the first time I had been back since I helped them move in Dec. of 2002. Needless to say, it was blazing hot with 99% humidity (OK, I may be exaggerating a bit). I don't think I've ever experienced that kind of weather before. It was literally like walking into a sauna. Your glasses would fog as soon as you stepped into the great outdoors. It was actually amusing as long as an air conditioned car or building was less than a minute away.

Weather aside, it was a lot of fun. It was really great to see the bride and groom since we haven't seen each other in over a year and a half when they came to CA. I arrived Wednesday night in Charleston, SC and then drove north to Murrell's Inlet (near Myrtle Beach) on Thursday morning. The rehearsal and dinner took place that evening. On Friday, Michelle made a yummy brunch for the bridesmaids and then we proceeded to the nail salon for mani/pedis. After our nails were dry, we headed over to the wedding site to help set up and make the floral centerpieces. That night we had dinner at Eric's parents house and then hit the hay to catch a few hours of sleep before the big day. On Saturday morning, we (the girls) met Michelle at her hotel and took an hour drive in the party bus to Mount Pleasant where we had our hair and makeup done. After the primping was finished, we returned to Michelle's hotel room and changed into our wedding garb. The wedding started at 5:30pm and it was a short but very sweet ceremony. The site was a beautiful historic building where meetings of the Winyah Indigo Society took place. It was also used by Union forces in the Civil War according to the sign outside. The reception was held upstairs in a large and gorgeous ballroom illuminated by multiple sparkling chandeliers. So pretty!

The party ended at around 1 am, if I remember correctly, and then part of the wedding party (including the newlyweds!) walked back to the hotel. I'm pretty certain I acquired the majority of my 40 mosquito bites on that little journey, but I didn't notice at the time. It wasn't a very far walk and it was hilarious to see the bride and groom walking down the highway, past a Taco Bell, in the finest clothes they have ever worn. It was the perfect ending.

The next day, I had lunch with Michelle and Eric and two fellow members of the bridal party, Monica and Matt. We stopped by the wedding site to clean up but it was almost done by the time we arrived. I said my goodbyes there and headed to Charleston where I caught my flight back to LA via Dallas. Of course, the trip had gone a little too well, so when I arrived at LAX my bag was not there to greet me. I've never been a victim of lost luggage and I was really bummed it had to happen at 9 pm when I was already exhausted. Luckily, they found it and delivered my intact bag the next day. Yippee!

Congratulations again to the happy couple! I had a great time and I'm glad I was invited to be a part of your special day. Move back to So Cal soon!

I'm alive!

I can't believe I haven't posted in over a month! What a slacker I am. In my defense, I've been a little busy. In mid-July, I flew to Austin, TX to help my sister and her family move. They now live in a big, beautiful house in Cedar Park which is just north of Austin. I was there for about a week painting, unpacking, and trying to enjoy spending time with my nephew and niece. I say "trying" because it was difficult to relax with all the typical chaos associated with the moving process. But even more taxing than the physical stress was the emotional aspect of adjusting to the fact that I would be returning to CA without part of my family. I don't think I've lived away from my sister for longer than a few months when we each participated in the National Student Exchange program. Knowing that I wouldn't be able to jump in the car and drive over the hill to hang out with Heather and Jim, to run around with Jack or to watch Caroline learn how to hold her head up made me ill. But the time came when I had to say good-bye and just thinking about it now brings tears to my eyes. At least I can "visit" whenever I want via my mom's webcam. It's no substitute for the real thing but it's better than nothing. It's pretty funny to see Jack on the screen making faces toward the corner of Heather's monitor because he's fascinated with his own reflection. Nevermind that Auntie Bridget is trying to chat with him. :) Gotta love that boy! Luckily, Heather and Jim and Aunt Martta are good about sending pics of the kids which makes the separation a little bit easier. I probably won't make it back out there until Thanksgiving, so I guess I better send some pics of myself to help Jack and Caroline recognize me when I arrive! I know, I'm so dramatic...

The new house! The van is a rental. H&J would want to make that clear.

Don't worry, Caroline. Auntie Bridget will be back!

Jack shoots 'em up on his new favorite playground--the stairs.

Thanks to Neil and Martta for the pics!